Thursday, July 29, 2010

Smell the roses.


I've been asked to write some encouraging and WISE statements to be included in a calendar for women to go on sale next year for Brunnen Verlag.
Do you know how hard it is to be wise on command???? I mean, normally, it is very easy for me to be wise. In fact, I'm wise every day. All the time. But if someone asks me to be wise......... uhhh, nothing!
So, I carried around a little piece of paper for a few weeks in my purse. And whenever I said something wise, I would get out my little piece of paper and write it down. (much to the annoyance of whomever I was talking to! )
Today I changed purses because my old one got soaked in a torrential rain this morning. And found in the bottom of my handbag this crumpled, barely legible piece of paper containing all the wisdom I could muster the last few weeks.
This is what was written on the paper:
"It's the imperfections that make you fascinating. People who try to be 'perfect' spend way too much time doing it, usually to the detriment of other more interesting facets of their life. "
"If you think he's not listening- he actually probably is. He just doesn't know what to say."
"It's NEVER fifty/ fifty. "
" '.....THIS TOO SHALL PASS' . This makes the sad man happy and the happy man sad. The sick man hopeful and the healthy man fearful. This makes the poor man work and the wealthy man rest. "
"Be glad your husband is different from you. You don't need a Mini-Me. So stop trying to turn him into one."
"Relationships, like seasons, are cyclical. If you don't like how things are now- just wait. They'll change. "
"If you want to stay close to your son, always act like you like his girlfriend."


Is all the brilliance of the universe encapsulated in those statements? Nope. I sure hope not. 'Cause that would be pretty sorry!
But it is definitely stuff I've learned and/or are learning. Becoming wise is an on-going process. (Was that another wise statement??!!)
What I really wanted to write though, might not apply to all women. But it certainly applies to mothers.
You know when your children are small and you say, "This is my son/daughter."?. And you kind of have the feeling that they are your possessions and you take them a little bit for granted and they get on your nerves a lot and are a complete and utter joy and adventure? And there are never enough hours in the day for everyone and everything?
Then those children grow up and one day you realize, once and for all, they are NOT your possessions in the least! Because, without asking your permission, they've grown up and are gone. They no more belong to you than the rose blooming in my garden.
And I still hear myself saying with a large dose of pride, "This is my son!"
And I still take crazy amounts of photographs because I know that Luke getting his high school diploma from the European School in Karlsruhe and then playing guitar for the graduation ceremony will only happen once.
And Alex receiving his Masters diploma in Business Administration from University of East Anglia in Norwich, England will only happen once and it is worth the flight to England to be there and photograph that moment.
I remember being advised so many times when my children were babies, "Oh, enjoy this time, because it will pass so quickly".
And I'm learning that the baby age was actually slow in passing when compared to my sons' walking across the stage to receive their well-earned diplomas.
Those moments are a heartbeat, a blink of the eye, a breathing in and breathing out- and then they're over.
What I really wanted to write on my little piece of paper was something wise that I have learned that sounds probably too Buddhist or Tao for a lot of people. But here goes:
Live Now. Consciously. Stop and smell the roses. They will be gone too soon.

"Life is all memory except for the one present moment that goes by you so quick you hardly catch it going." Tennessee Williams